How To Be an Amazing Lover in Bed
Have you ever wondered what makes an amazing lover? For most of us, sex is just kind of something that we habitually do, but there are actually a few key ingredients to incorporate into the bedroom to become an amazing and unforgettable lover not just to your partner but also to yourself.
Here are my top tips to become an amazing lover in the bedroom:
Be Present
If there is one tip that you absolutely must commit to, it is being more present when you make love. Too often we find ourselves spending time lost in our own minds. We’re all guilty of thinking about that grocery list or letting our minds wander instead of being truly in the moment. My advice is to really focus on the experience. Focus on all of the sensations and the situation. Let yourself get caught up in it so you can truly enjoy it!
A major part of being present is being aware of your partner. Focus on what they are feeling. Look for their feedback so that you know what feels good to them. Making sure that your partner is feeling just as good as you are is a great tip for improving your sexual prowess fast. When you take to tune into your partner, you are making the effort to be a more committed and pleasurable lover. Little things like matching their breathing or moving with them can really boost the intimacy of your interactions!
Give Fully and Receive Fully
If you have ever been a selfish lover, you know that it can be a total turn-off. When you have sex with someone, it should be about both of you. This means that you should commit to their pleasure as much as your own. This give and take can work wonders when it comes to improving a sexual experience. In the bedroom, make sure that when you give, you really give. Commit to making your partner enjoy themselves for periods of time instead of always making it about you. When you go the extra mile, it really shows and your partner will absolutely love the attention. It is also a great way to stay in the moment!
Receiving pleasure is something that a lot of people struggle with. Whether it is combatting feeling selfish or even overcoming the stigma of giving yourself over to pleasure, most of us aren’t totally comfortable when it comes to receiving directed pleasure. You know what I say to that? Forget it! The fact is that you are absolutely worthy of pleasure. When your partner focuses on pleasing you, let yourself fall into the experience. You deserve to feel good, so enjoy soaking up the good feelings. You will be amazed by just how much this can improve your experience in bed, and your partner will love it too.
Give From A State of Pleasure
One thing that many of us are guilty of is sometimes treating certain sexual acts like they are a chore. This is one that comes up time and time again, particularly when it comes to things like oral sex. The fact is that when we treat sex acts like they are a job rather than something that we are actually into, it shows. It will automatically take the experience and cheapen it because it will be purely physical. Instead of treating these things as a chore, find your own pleasure in the moment. Enjoy the way that your partner is reacting or find a way to seek your own pleasure while you pleasure them. It is so much hotter when the person that you are with is really into it, so learn to give from that unique state of pleasure. You will love how much more intimate it makes any act!
Be Spontaneous
Routines are great for helping us to manage our day, but sex should be fun and passionate. There is no better way to boost passion in the bedroom then letting the passion carry you away. Instead of replaying the greatest hits, get caught up in the moment. Do what feels right, even if it’s something that you have never tried before. Not every new move is going to be well-received, but there is something so special about getting caught up in the moment and going where your nature guides you. Bite your partner’s neck. Kiss somewhere new or grab their hair. It’s all about getting caught up in the heat of the moment.
Express Your Pleasure
A major part of receiving pleasure is expressing the pleasure that you are experiencing. There is nothing hotter than pleasuring someone and being able to see just how good you made them feel. So many of us have been conditioned to be quiet or reserved in bed and it is just so silly. When you feel pleasure, express it. Allow yourself to show just how much pleasure you are feeling using your voice and your body language.
For many people, this is hard and even a little awkward sometimes. Our society puts so much pressure on us to be quiet and respectful in regards to intimacy, but expressing your pleasure allows you to rip down the walls between you and your partner so that you can enjoy the closeness that comes with shared pleasure. When your partner does something right, encourage them by showing them just how much their hard work paid off!
Good sex isn’t about a certain position or doing something that everyone claims is great. It is about being present and responsive so that you can truly connect with your partner. Think of it as a personal dance where your only goal is to become closer to your partner!
You owe it to yourself and your partner to find pleasure in the moment, so let loose and fall into it. This is just another way to own your sexuality and accept the pleasure that you deserve.
