The Key to Making Penetration Pleasurable

If you are a woman that has experienced penetrative sex, then you have likely experienced sex that has been painful or irritating at some point in your life. For some women, this may be a slight irritation or simply not feeling very good, while for others sex can be uncomfortable or even painful. And this is common. I have come across many female clients that are frustrated with penetrative sex. It just doesn’t bring them the pleasure that they expect and that they deserve. 

But there is a way to overcome this painful sex. I am going to teach you a practice that can help to remove the painful elements associated with penetrative sex and make sex pleasurable, enjoyable and orgasmic!

Why am I feeling discomfort or pain during sex?

These feelings are actually extremely common among women, and there are a number of things that can cause this. However, there is one very common culprit for painful sex, and that is not allowing the female body enough time to become completely activated and aroused.

Did you know that females get erections too? Probably not right? But, it is true! Just like men, women are also capable of erections. And, just like men, our own erections are also an important, and essential, part of the sexual experience and the act of sex itself. Without this, it is hard to become aroused and hard to feel pleasure during sex.

Most people do not know about this simply because it is not as obvious in females as it is in men. When a man has an erection, it is pretty obvious, right? It all happens within a singular structure and he literally stands up loud and proud. But, obviously, this is not the case with women. And that is because while we may actually have the same amount of erectile tissue as men, it is a lot more spread out.

So, where is it?

Female erectile tissue is spread out across four different areas of the female genitalia. There are two locations on the vulva. The first is the clitoris and the second is the vestibules which are located around the opening of the vagina. Then there are two more inside the vagina. The first is the urethral sponge on the upper wall of the vagina towards the belly button, and then the perineal sponge on the lower wall towards the back.

When these areas are sufficiently stimulated, blood flows into these areas creating swelling of the vagina and vulva, making your body much more receptive to sensation, and therefore making sex feel a lot better! This is what I call the female erection. While it usually takes men between 1 – 3 minutes to gain an erection, women can take up to 20 minutes for this whole pleasure network to become activated. And, unfortunately, we tend to follow the rhythm of the man’s erection. The man becomes aroused, there may be some kissing, and then it is often straight into penetration from here. This may last around 5 minutes become he reaches ejaculation and then it is done. However, for most women, this timeframe just doesn’t work and you will only just be starting to warm up.

This means that the sex may not actually feel all that good and there may even be irritation or pain. This is because the body has not been given the time it needs to awaken and the erection to become activated. But how we reflect on this can be negative too. We tend to wonder why we aren’t enjoying it when we should be, sometimes blaming ourselves or even feeling shame about pain or irritation during sex.

But how can we enjoy it if the body is not ready? We never expect a man to fully enjoy sex without an erection, and guess what? The same thing should apply to women too!

How do I get a female erection?

As women, we work from the outside in. This means that we need a holistic approach to pleasure that activates both the outer body and the inner body.

Arousal

Start out with kisses to the lips and neck, and stimulation of the breasts. Only then should your partner move to the lower part of the body.

Stimulate the Vulva

I’ll let you in on a little secret, there is actually a way to tell when the vulva is activated and ready for penetration. You need to stimulate the clitoris until the vulva appears puffy and darker than normal. This is a sign that the area is filled with blood and will now be a lot more receptive to stimulation. This means that the erectile tissue in these areas is stimulated and ready to play.

Now, you can move onto the opening of the vagina to stimulate the vestibules. These are a very important part of the body to pay attention to. As you become more aroused and this area fills up with blood, it literally pushes open your inner and outer lips and makes your vulva open like a flower. This creates a cushion that makes penetration comfortable for you. Activating this area is the difference between having very orgasmic penetrative sex and having sex that feels like inserting a dry tampon. And ladies, none of us want sex to feel like putting in a dry tampon.

You need to let your body become activated and the area around your vagina to swell with blood as this is what increases sensitivity and will make everything feel pleasurable and a whole lot better. Look out for a vulva that is swollen, lubricated and hungry to be penetrated. That’s a really good thing to wait for before you even think about penetration.

Stimulate the Vagina

But don’t forget that there are four areas of the erectile network in women. And you need to wake those areas up too before penetration begins. Many women experience pain or irritation inside the vagina. And, this is because the erectile sponges within the vagina are not yet activated and swollen, and without this, it is basically just friction. That constant in and out motion can cause real irritation to the delicate tissues of the vagina.

So make sure that you wake up the two internal sponges too. Start off by stimulating the upper wall and the then lower wall of the vagina to slow start bringing blood flow into those sponges. This will make them much more sensitive and much more orgasmic. And now, your body should be ready, open and hungry for penetration.

This is also the key to having vaginal orgasms! A lot of women think that they are just part of that group of women who simply can’t have a vaginal orgasm. But sometimes it just takes allowing those lovely sponges inside the vagina the stimulation, attention and time to actually get there.

Don’t forget to pass this on to your partner

And now, its time to tell your partner about it! It is important that you both understand this need for extra time to warm up your body and allow your own erection, as well as his, to become orgasmic. Talk about introducing more playfulness and more foreplay so that you can have that time to become completely activated. Then you can sync up and move into that beautiful, pleasurable state together.